Don’t pray for…

Don’t pray for an easy lives, pray to be stronger men.

Don’t pray for task equal to your power, pray for power equal to your task. 

 

Moving forward…

So I have successfully completed my Basic Military Training. Route march in FBO, field camp, SOC, IPPT and many more I’ve cleared it all! I’m proud to declare myself a trained soldier and I’m ready to move onto my next phase of training. In the beginning of BMT, I have set a number of goal that I want to achieve during BMT.

1. IPPT Gold

After all the late book out and early book in…

2.Combat fit

I’ve cleared all the route marches and soc under 6 minutes so I believe I am combat fit?

Looking back at the past 2 month I spent in Tekong, it is memorable and will be talk about in the years to come. Did BMT change me? I’m confident enough to say yes. When you are lying in a dirt after 3 days of field camp, it seems like nothing else in the world matters. All you wanted is to get back to coy line and have a good shower. Field camp wasn’t exactly tough, maybe it’s because it didn’t rain until the last day or I have another 250+ recruits going through the same thing as me.

Wherever CMPB post me to tomorrow, I hope to endure and excel like how I did during BMT.

Don’t pray for an easy life, pray to be stronger men.

Every Singaporean son…

We were but strangers
Every single one of us
We were but strangers
Placed together from the start

We were but strangers
And no matter who we are
We were but strangers
In the shadows that we cast

You are my brothers
I take you as my flesh and blood
You are my brothers
We’ve been through rain and mud

Take care my brothers
As soldiers we are born to be
Take care my brothers
(I’m) proud to be in your company

For every Singaporean son
Must serve his term until he’s done
And every single breath he takes
Comes a bond which cannot break

We’ve been through lightning, rain and sun
Now we’re back to where we first begun
Through walls of fire we once run
Forget your friend, you know I can’t

So come today my friend
We are one as we were meant
And come today my friend
United we all stand

But gone today my friend
We know that we shall all part
But gone today my friend
You’re forever in my heart

For every Singaporean son
Must serve his term until he’s done
And every single breath he takes
Comes a bond which cannot break

We’ve been through lightning, rain and sun
Now we’re back to where we first begun
Through walls of fire we once run
Forget your friend, you know I can’t

Through the years we have realized
Why we fought those battles deep inside
Let the world hear our stories
That we wrote with pride and glory

For every Singaporean son
Must serve his term until he’s done
And every single breath he takes
Comes a bond which cannot break

We’ve been through lightning, rain and sun
Now we’re back to where we first begun
Through walls of fire we once run
Forget your friend, you know I can’t

04/11 BMTC 2/Jaguar Coy

WE FEAR NOTHING!

2011

The year of Waiting

This year I’ve been waiting for many things to happen:

-waiting to end my Internship

-waiting to extend my stay at Internship company (ironic)

-waiting for holiday trips (KL, Taipei, Phuket, Bangkok)

-waiting for graduation

-waiting for enlistment

So finally, I’ve come towards the end of this year. It’s October already and I haven’t accomplished much this year. I don’t recall having any new year resolution this year. At least I’ve travelled the most this year! Those trips are awesome and the money is definitely well spent.

I remembered counting down to 28th January for the last day of internship. During my intern days I never thought that I will work there for so long. A year and a month. Through those days I’ve forge strong bonds with my colleagues and peers there. Even though it’s not my first job but it’s the longest I’ve worked. Well there will always a first time.

Sometimes I feel that if I don’t have to go for NS maybe I can contribute more to the team; like doing things out of my scope. Maybe sourcing for equipment, in depth troubleshooting or something else? At least I’ve picked up a skill or two on maintaining and troubleshooting a boat?

Things may not always be smooth at work but this is just a part and parcel of life. People get along and friction occurs occasionally; not to make life difficult for each other, just different ways of working. Ultimately I believe that everyone is there to get things done.

Cheers for all the awesome people I’ve know at work! Our life crosses path and I think it’s time for me to say goodbye!

Keep in contact and stay awesome! \m/

50 days left.

2/3 through with September. In less than 2 month time I’m going to embark on a journey to become a man. That’s what they always say; NS turns a boy into a man. Oh well let’s see how it will change me.

There aren’t much to worry about because worrying about NS doesn’t help at all. Afterall I have no choice but to go through it.

I think I will miss my workplace a lot after I left. I had so much fun and laughter there even though I had my bad time too. I can say even though there were times I wanted to quit but I am glad that I continue to work. I’ve learnt many valuable life skills and some technical knowledge along the way. I think even though there are some lines drawn between different team members but when it comes to meeting deadlines we can set our differences apart and move towards that common goal.

I have found a few universities that offers Bachelor in Electrical Engineering already. Even if I don’t want to enroll into the part-time NTU EEE course it’s fine. After all NTU is a 4-5 years commitment while holding a full-time job. I really respect those who can cope with that amount of stress or commitment. I’m usually half alive after work and the only thing I wanted to do is to rush home and rot. Imagine after a hard day of work and you have to attend lecture/tutorial/practical. Even a full-time student would skip the above mention.

I have considered pursuing a degree in other field but I can’t see myself studying business, management or accounting. Maybe after I’ve gotten my degree in engineering then we shall see. But first a degree; my top priority after NS. Wait one step at a time. Enlist first!

There are so much things that I wanted to do after NS, its like when your life really begin? Maybe I am thinking too much; like a child wanting to become an adult so badly.

Life ain’t all sunshines and rainbow. There can’t be rainbow without a bit of rain right? (:

Stop worrying and start living! \m/

Sometimes nothing you do will ever make any difference. Just wasted effort and endless disappointment. But at least I’ve tried right? Better to try and fail than to fail without trying? Contradict much. I am beginning to miss school. I know uni won’t be a breeze but I am sure I will give my very best this time round!

Why is my glass always half filled?

I have tried to update this space for months and every time I tried I realize that it’s better if I keep it to myself instead. Most of my post ended up in my draft or trash bin after typing them out. I don’t want people to look at me like I’m depressed or emotional. I don’t like to be judge.

Maybe most of the things I’ve posted on FB/Twitter are negative and I think it reflects a lot on what kind of person I am. Yes I think I’m a pessimist.

Pessimism – A tendency to stress the negative or unfavorable or to take the gloomiest possible view.

I have high expectation/hope in the things I put a lot of effort in. But most of the time in order to save myself from disappointment of an unfavorable result, I tend to look at the negative result. It’s like I want things to turn out well for me but I don’t want to feel the disappointment when it’s not. It doesn’t feel good at all.

I think the above point does not apply to all the aspects of my life. For example my academic result; if I know I have put in hard work I’ll surely get good result. No doubt about it. Because the only variable in the equation is whether I’m putting enough time for revision. My GPA of 3.014 is something I couldn’t be more proud of. No regrets or whatsoever. Even though I can’t get a place in NTU or NUS as a full-time student, I know I’ll find my way in somehow.

To another aspect of my life; Work. I admit that during my internship I am kind of a slacker and not a team player. But before my internship ends I strive and put in effort to earn a place in the company after graduating. While waiting for the news of extending after internship is when I tend to look at the negative result. I started to look for another job way before my internship ends. In this equation there are more variables: eg Superiors approval of me, colleagues opinion, scope of work after extension etc etc.

I always look at what I don’t have; and totally put aside everything I have. I only look at that empty space in my glass and neglect the other half that is filled with thirst quenching water.

3 points to note:

1. Ignorance is bliss.
What you don’t know can’t hurt you.-Been doing it all along

2. Don’t hold on to something. Let go. You’ll be happier that way.
If you keep thinking about the things that made you upset, you will suffocate yourself.-Yes I am suffocating

3. Accept everything around you.
Once you learn how to accept, you will be giving your life an easier time.-Easier said than done

Yep surely its not the first time we have come across these kind of saying but how many of us can really do it? I have told myself umpteen times to accept things that can’t be and let go of things that don’t belong.

I have to agree most of my misery is self-made lol. I don’t enjoy indulging myself in this pool of negativity. I over think and over analyze everything (excluding academic matters). Believe me I’ve tried and I’m somewhat tired or at my ends. I don’t know what to do with my feelings anymore.

I’ll take one step at a time now; hoping that one-day I’ll realize that my glass is half filled. I need to be stronger than this.

Friday night…

I started to jog again last week because I felt that there is a strong urge to clear my mind. I love the feeling of overcoming a long distance. It’s like overcoming an obstacle in my life. No matter how much pain my body feels; I know my mind will keep me going. One step at a time.

Sadly I think I can no longer run as far as I want because of an injury I can’t seem to shake off. 7km seems to be the safe distance I can run without incurring further pain to my left ligament. I really felt like pushing myself further to 10km but it’s better to stop.

My friend has already received his invitation to the Island Resort and he is leaving at the end of the month. Which sets me thinking; how long more am I going to work here. What if I am enlisting in September or November? Am I going to extend? Are they going to extend me? And what am I going to do if I choose to leave before my contract end?

工是做不完的, I will have plenty of work to do during and after my NS. Why am I working so hard during this period of time where I can choose to do nothing and waste my life away? I believe that money is the driving force behind it.

The realization…

that spending too much time working and not enjoying the rest of my civilian life before serving the nation is a wrong move. Leaving for workplace at 7.30 am and reaching home at 8 pm. The pathetic amount of time I had left disgust me. I am exchanging my time for money; a common trade off for most people. I am really thinking of quitting but what can I do if I stop working. To my surprise I have nothing else to do. So I’d rather work. I think I am a workaholic.

that goodbyes often come too early. Looking at the way the tsunami swept away its victim; I should cherish people I love before it’s too late. However being a workaholic I should plan my time wisely.

that giving up always seem to be the easier way because all you have to do is to ignore and move on. Oh wait, moving on isn’t easy at all. Stuck in the middle is the way to go.

Note to self: to be independent. That is definitely within my control. I’ve learnt it the hard way what it’s like to depend on someone too much.

Same shit, different day…

I think I can declared that my life has reach a stalemate at this point of time. I am just going through the motion over and over again for the past 6 months or so.

Mon to Fri-Work

Sat-Hang out

Sun-Soccer

I need a change and I need it quick!

I didn’t get any good rest this weekend. I thought of going on short overseas trip but I don’t think it’s working well for me. Waking up early on a Saturday morning to cross the border and slept in a hotel room with a terrible sound insulation and a disturbing noise every other minute. Coming back on Sunday is another terrible decision I’ve made.

I realize I tend to magnify my problems and diminish every good things that happened in my life. Looking at the bright side; I have a stable income. It’s the perfect opportunity to save up for overseas trip, NS or whatever I want to get. I will survive this whole week and have a good rest on Saturday!